


Viagra Was Invented On The Moon

by todouxmaka



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todouxmaka/pseuds/todouxmaka
Summary: I'm not sober please help me and dont read this its DUMB lmao
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Viagra Was Invented On The Moon

___The year was 2070. The war between humans and omnics was finally over thanks to some very diplomatic hookers. The popular sitcom Friends has finally been erased from human memory. An equally terrible sitcom named Enemies has taken its place and it’s in its seventh season. North Dakota and South Dakota have finally put their differences aside and formed one big Dakota. Life was great, but not perfect.  
___Despite the war ending, there was still a plague on the land. No one knows where it came from or how to defeat its. This plague was known as Limp Dick Fridays. People could not end the week with some quality meat beating. Despite the people’s efforts, the masses could not get horny. Scientists from across the world came together to try to find a solution to this problem, but their efforts were fruitless.  
___Every Friday people would deal with the limpest, saddest wieners. One of the worst, most depressing one-eyed snakes belonged to a retired soldier named Jack Morrison. His shlong was really pathetic. As a gay man, this soft tissue crisis was especially homophobic because Jack was a dicks-out kind of guy. After all, there’s no point in going in public unless your roosters crowing. A nice, fat peeper is how you get respect, after all.  
___However, despite these depressing Fridays, Jack was a very big, sociable slut the rest of the week. He enjoyed comparing love muscles and having distance peeing contests with his close friend and clone, Morris Jackson. The two would travel across the remaining states in America looking for other trouser meat fanatics who also enjoyed their unique lifestyles.  
___Although there were six other days in the week to have sausage parties, it wasn’t enough for Jack or Morris. These men were gay, but they were also freaks. There were gay people and then there were ding-a-ling dudes like Jack and Morris. They wanted a twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week woody wonderland. They heard countless stories of the fruitless scientific endeavors to overcome this mushy meat massacre and decided they’d take matters into their own hands.  
___It was a foggy morning.. Jack and Morris were at the doorstep of the great gorilla scientist named Winston. Normally when it comes to science, one must obey laws and worry about whether the tests are ethical or not, but Winston is from the moon. No one worries about ethics on the moon. It took several months of preparation and suspicious behavior, but the three made it to the moon to figure out why they were having their dick dilemma.  
___The lunar colony was abandoned. A once lively center of science and engineered was a husk of its former self. The memories of scientists and their pride were now still and dusty. Despite the decay of the dedicated, the untouched halls of the lunar territory weren’t empty. Labs and materials were plentiful. Unfortunately, Jack and Morris decided to neglect a very important detail in their request to their giant ape companion. Their talents included being wanker warriors, but not men of science. It was not long before Winston had to use every fiber of his being not to obliterate the two cock loving grandpas.  
___Winston decided to step away from Jack and Morris. It had been so long since his days as a specimen. His lurking through the body of this giant husk was a melancholy margarita with a wedge of depression. These memories weren’t all bad, though. They were also humbling. No matter how far you go in life, it is always important to remember what molded you into the person you’ve become today. For Wintson, these memories went from trembling to humbling to even being inspiring.  
___The gorilla later returned to the two men who, despite sharing the same DNA, wanted to compare dick sizes. Although Winston had once been the test monkey from the men of the moon, it was his turn to make scientific discoveries with nothing holding him back. He assured the pocket rocket soldiers that he’d waste no time before making his way into several labs.  
...Im too drunk to finish this sorry


End file.
